Sunday, 14 December 2008

Lumpy Custard ....

Well gang be ready for a change of style!

Mr Custard here.

The usual author (my dear lady) is off sick with the lurgy that she was bragging about not having yet (anyone mentioning unkind words like "justice" will not be going to heaven!)
So feeling power crazed as I do at this moment, I need to contemplate what I shall write!

The reason I am allowed to interfere in this way is because beloved is too poorly and yet she has to announce the winner of her "giveaway" so, for one day only, I am free to lumpify the custard with all manner of additions.

Now I could give you some interesting photos of vintage guitars (a particular interest of mine) which would be thrilling for you all. I could go on and on an on (like a Status Quo refrain) about Primary Education, which is my real passion and would have you enraptured for hours, or I could pollute the custard bowl wholesale with my distinctly uncustardy style of sardonic drivel!
Perhaps I had better do none of these things and attempt to be "on message".

I will put on my Florence Nightingale dress and warm up the thermometer, send out for Lemsip and Kleenex and leeches and velcro the cat in the other room out of the way.
Ah yes, the Pickles section: well he is about as much use as a bag with a hole in it as usual. Massive contributions such as chasing his tail, complaining about room service at 0630 hours and sleeping (an olympic sport in Mr Pig land) have made absolutely no useful contribution at all. Now, what I chiefly need is to be able to train him to wear a stethoscope and carry a doctor's bag, to mop fevered brows and encourage patients to say "aahh" as opposed to "ARRRRRGGGGHH!"
Here he is demonstrating perfectly why he is not a brain surgeon!So Monsieur Pickles...... nil point!

Now the Bath scenery bit. Its blooming cold and wet and foggy! But beautiful.
See below photo I took earlier as I was pacing the floor in the small wee hours of dawn at the Custard Sanatorium fretting myself into a shadow with concern for beloved's health!
So, a cautionary tale is woven between the words of today's cowboys and custard blog.
When you're ill, change your passwords!

and the winner is...........Emma at

Silver Pebble.

This was Mrs Custard's choice of course, all takeovers have their limits!

So well done Emma and any X factor style prolonged weeping with joy is entirely understandable.
please could you email Michele your address so that she can send you the Horace cards.

Mr Custard signing off... normal service to be restored very shortly when the sickly one surfaces from her lurgy!


jane and the happy crow said...

Oh poor Michele, just when you think you've got away with it! I must say Mr Custard is an angel looking after you and blogging on your behalf, with Mr Pigs help Im sure. If cats had an opposable thumb they would rule the world! My other half just ignores me when I am ill in the hope it will go away and he wont get it. Hope you feel better soon lots of love Jane xxx

Dana and Daisy said...

I am so sorry to hear of Mrs. Custard's being under the weather. I am so glad that Mr. Custard did think enough of us to post the photo of Mr. Pickles, as I had almost thought he rivaled for the status of the cutest cat in the world and did need one more look at him. It is a close call, but I shall have to find the title goes to my precious Miss Daisy, though he is a close second, and being second cutest cat in the world is also an honor of high regard! Much like being next in line to the throne I imagine!

Michele, please do feel better soon. Love, Dana

The Whispering Poppies said...

Oh sweet Michele ~ please do recover promptly! Tis the season for enjoyment... no lurgies allowed! Lots of love and hugs to you!!! =)

PS - your dear man is a wonderfully entertaining writer! =)

MelMel said...

Hi there, sorry your ill....get well soon!

Hi Mr C&C!!!x

April said...

Feel better soon Michele

April xx

Redwoodhouse said...

this blog really made me laugh out loud,
I do hope you feel better very soon Michelle..
Stay cosy

Tea with Willow said...

Oh no! The lurgy struck! So sorry to hear you're ill Michele - hope you will recover asap with Mr Custard's tlc! I have to say Mr C, you've done a fine job in your Lady's absence ... even managing to give us a pic of the darling Mr Pickles .... you know what we like! Tee Hee!
Hope all is well in the C&C household very soon.

Willow x

Anonymous said...

Hope you are better soon Mrs. C. or you may just have your blog hijacked by that clever and funny man of yours(and his useless, but adorable sidekick). He's a blogging natural.


Country Cottage Chic said...

Poor Michele! You do realise Mr C that it's all your fault for being ill in the first place?
I am prescribing lots of hot tea, soothing words, fluffy blankets, flowers & sympathy!

Simone said...

Well done to you Mr Custard for stepping in so gallantly. I hope that Mrs Custard is soon feeling better. Congratulations to Silverpebble!

Ragged Roses said...

Dear Mr C I detect no lumps in this custard and believe me I know all about lumpy custard having been made to eat more than my fair share of it at primary school ... So sorry to hear that my sweet Mrs C is poorly, please please give her a hug from me and might I suggest a couple of custard creams (you know, the special kind, she keeps in the biscuit tin, I think she calls them "emergency rations"). Lots of hugs to you all
And if she's not already on the benylin then a few slugs of the old sloe gin are in order too

Alchamillamolly said...

Hi hope Michelle is better soon I have a lost week behind me with a fluey, fevery chest infection - Yuk.

Margie said...

Michele, hope you are feeling better soon, I wish you healing love and light. Mr Custard was very entertaining in your abscence. Congratulations to Emma. hugs Margie.

Vintage to Victorian said...

Well Mr Custard - if you haven't already got your own blog I think you should start one soon. You'll have so many followers!!!

Sorry to hear your under the weather Mrs C. I came home from Shepton Flea this evening to find Pauley with nothing other than a high-pitched squeaky voice. I think I need lessons from Florence Nightingale (in her dress) as all I could do was collapse in uncontrollable giggles. No doubt he'll get his own back as my throat is sore and I might be squeaking tomorrow!

Get well soon!

Sue x

Sal said...

Well Mr Custard,I would advise your lovely lady to drag it out as long as possible so that she can truly enjoy your TLC... and your blog posts ;-)
Get better soon Michele;-)

Gina said...

Well done Emma! Get well soon Mrs Custard (although Mr C did a grand job!)

funkymonkey said...

Get well soon Michele. Mr Custard did a sterling job in your absence.

This Vintage Life... said...

Get well soon Michele. Mr. C has done you proud 'standing in!'
Deb x

cocoa and blankets said...

Great minds and all that...I am also in bed feeling awful..snuffle sneeze cough errrrrrrrrrrr...hope you feel beter soon H

LiLi M. said...

Though I wouldn't complain about Mr. Custard writing your blog, I would give you my sincere wishes to be well soon! In the mean time enjoy the Florence Nightengalish talents of your husband! When you are well again Michèle; cherish him, he's a gem!

Jessie Lilac said...

Get well soon Mrs Custard (and that's a VERY funny post Mr C!)

silverpebble said...

Oh - bad news and good news! So sorry you're so poorly Michele. It sounds as though you're in good hands but it must still be miserable. Sending immune-type thoughts your way - may your white cells win the day very soon.

I'm so excited to have won your giveaway! I think I let my mind wander a bit - it was nearly dreamfeed time and I was excited about lifting my little one to give her her last spot of milk for the day. Many thanks again - I will email you my address

Best wishes and get well soon


pebbledash said...

Hi Michele, get better quick, ok! Sorry to hear you're down with the lurgy. Thank you to Mr C for updating us so gallantly. And three cheers for Silver Pebble!
D x

OhSoVintage said...

Nice to meet you Mr Custard. Give our love to Michele and I'm sure you are doing a sterling job of looking after her.

Vintage Amethyst said...

Aaahh poor Michele, get better soon lovely lady & thank you to Mr Custard for the wonderful blog post!
Well done to Emma on winning the giveaway!
Sending you love Michele, get well soon you hear?

Rubyred said...

Great job Mr Custard! Hope you are feeling better soon Michele
Rachel x

Greedy Nan said...

My gosh I cannot imagine what would happen if I asked my lovely man to add to my blog! Disaster city - he does have his uses though and I wouldn't swap him for naught.
Hope that you will soon be back to 'normal' and blogging because you certainly have a competitor in Mr Custard.

Joanna said...

Enjoyed Mr Custards post, do hope Mrs Custard is feeling better soon captain rupert sends his love. He is thinking about writing a book about medicinal value of wild flowers in rabbit folklore. If he reads anything in his research for getting horrid colds to go away I will get him to email you.

Rosie said...

Sorry to hear you're not well. Hope it's not long before you are back to your normal self. Your cat is just adorable.x

Rose&Bird said...

Sorry to hear you're lurgified Michele, hope you feel better soon x

Anonymous said...

Well Mr Custard, I must say that was a very entertaining post. You boys never like the girls being ill do you...I'm not sure if that is because you are so worried about them or the fact that the girls are getting the attention ;-) hmmmm...

I hope you feel better, it's working it's way round the office and then back round again as everyone keeps re-infecting each other *nice*.

Spk soon,
Lucy xx

Garden Girl said...

Mr C, do please pass on a big hug to Mrs C and send her a great big box of soft snuffly tissues from moi. And perhaps a piece of chocolate tiffin or two.
Great post Mr C.xx

buttercup & roses said...

Poor Michele, please send her lots of well wishes and a speedy recovery...I hope you get well soon hunny!

And to Mr Custard, you should start your own blog, you have a lovely way with words, very entertaining!

Hugs, Jen xx

P.s, I believe your cat is one of the cutest in the world! (after my poppy and oscar boo of course!lol!)

Sea Angels said...

Hi Michele, just seen that you are poorly, I hope you feel better soon.
Hugs Lynn xx
How lovely of Mr Custard to write your post x

Michael House said...

There is something very similar about your styles of blogging -articulate and witty, so there was no loss in the normal service to Blogdom. hope you are better soon. V x

Sweet Cottage Dreams said...

Despite the reasons lumpy custard was served to us, I am sitting here laughing over the words that you wrote! You Brits sure have a way with words and are quite amusing to say the least! The description of Pickles being as useful as a bag with a hole in it is having me in stitches! Ahhh, thanks for the laugh but really am glad that Mrs. Custard is feeling better. Now what kind of guitar was that?

teeheehhhheeeeeee - still laughing!

Anonymous said...

Oh my goodness... i typed in "dancing brain" to google images and a picture of mr pickles came up on page 10.... he is my cat's clone! (besides the fact my cat is a girl) I couldn't believe it, exactly the same markings. I wish i could put a picture of her here.
Enjoy Mr Gorgeous Pickles!