Thursday, 3 July 2008

The times they are a changing....


I am having one of those weeks ...
A lot of wandering around in circles trying to find myself.. along with the elusive scissors and my reading glasses that are invariably perched on top of my head..
I am fearing that the dreaded hormones are really kicking in now and some strange force is taking over my life. I like to think that I am even - tempered person but these days I can feel positively psychotic at times provoked by the slightest thing.. reduced to tears in an instant if I feel life, inanimate objects, people are conspiring against me..All totally irrational thoughts most of the time.
It is akin to being a toddler/teenager again, feeling like I am on a runaway train.. out of control..
It must be the Dementors at work or is it something equally dark and hideous.. The Menopause..?!
Now I am slightly ill at ease writing about this subject as I know it might be considered a taboo subject by some and a real faux pas to talk of such things.... but what the heck.. I am living dangerously again and throwing caution to the wind.. all part of the condition I feel!
Hello.. hello.. is anyone there..??
If you are then I must tell you about a few of my classic A.W.O.L moments of late..
There are so many but I will spare some of my blushes and your boredom and limit it to these..
Picture the scene..
Sunday evening the telephone rings.. " Hello it's Dennis here".... me.."Oh hello Dennis how are you" not giving him a chance to answer.. " thank you so much for coming to sort out the printer, I would be lost without it".. without drawing breath I continue .... " I expect you are looking forward to the school holidays now?"..
Dennis manages to squeeze a word in with.. "Hello Mrs Chivers.. I wondered if you would like some more veg this week?"... OH ... NOT THAT DENNIS... the local organic veg supplier instead... Lots of back peddling later we establish a coherent conversation... Poor man!

Classic No: 2...
In usual altered state of consciousness in the morning.. loading the dishwasher and absentmindedly taking a bottle of yellow liquid from the cupboard under the sink.. I start to squirt what I believe to be 'Rinse Aid' into the machine.. then I realise to my horror that the rinse aid is in fact Fairy Liquid and I have filled the rinse cycle with soap.... It is still foaming 5 weeks later!!

Leaving my reading glasses on the compost bin at the end of the garden and turning the house upside down to find them...
Leaving my mobile phone on the wall outside the front door with the front door keys still in the lock....
Sending an Email to my son's tutor at school instead of my intended friend.. Goodness knows what she made of my prattle!
Oh the list goes on.. and on....

I hope I come to my senses soon..

Last but not least.. a quote found in a book...Wrinklies' Wit & Wisdom..
My grandma told me, 'The good news is, after menopause the hair on your legs gets really thin and you don't have to shave anymore. Which is great because it means that you have more time to work on your new moustache.
By Karen Haber....


OH JOY!!!

34 comments:

April said...

Oh honey, hang in there and you'll be fine, but you did make me laugh - only because I do crazy things like that too!!

Hugs

April xx

LiLi M. said...

My mother used to say: 'True humour is not a laugh, but a tear as well.' Your post is a perfect example of that statement. Not only your text, but your artwork (it is fabulous again!) too.
Btw do you think it stops after the menopauze this forgetting of things and the leaving of things in strange places? Do you really mean this is temporarely, that this scatterdness (is this an English word, or did I just invent one?) has come to you just recently? If so, you are a lucky girl! My husband used to say: where did you put that, THINK!! But I just never registred such (unimportant) things. Once I was in the train, talking to a lady who just had left her seasons ticket in the previous train. She explained to me why such things happen more to some people than to others. She had done research and in short there were just some wires not connected. In case you didn't suspect I am 'some people', she recognized me immediately when I opened my bag (probably before on the size and the appearance of my bag). Anyhow since then I have accepted that I forget and misplace things and remember other (totally unimportant) things and now I can say to my husband: I really cannot help! And of course there is the advantage of writing funny adventures everybody appreciates, while you even didn't have to leave your home. I should cherish this absent mindness!
Cheers! LiLi

OhSoVintage said...

Michelle, this did make me laugh! But all us ladies of a certain age can identify with this so don't worry, you are not alone. I keep tidying things away to the most bizarre places so now if anything gets lost or goes missing of course it is always my fault!

Ragged Roses said...

Oh Mrs Custard I know exactly how you feel! Perhaps we should all be throwing caution to the wind and taking advantage of our situation by being as reckless we would like to be!!! I'm afraid my list of scattyness at the moment would just go on and on and on ..., Take care mon ami and yes we can beat those Dementors!
Mxxxx
PS I thought the benefit of getting to our age and having leg hair is that we can no longer see them!!!

Emma Herian said...

Oh my goodness, will I get worse then! I do alot of those things already, oh heck...........
Is it that the hair on the legs goes grey so thats why we wont see them?
Oh you have made me giggle.
Can't wait to see you in Dec, its not that far away really......!
Emx

Curlew Country said...

Oh Michele! Very funny and I totally empathise how maddening it all is. But imagine this, I'm doing this kind of thing already - at 33! Heaven knows what I'll be like when the change descends on me. I'll have to be locked up I think.
Take it easy and sit back with a g&t and keep sharing it all with us - that's my advice.
Stephx

Michael House said...

I think you will get loads and loads of comments from people feeling reassured that they are not the only ones getting scatty. I certainly nodded and laughed my way through your post. I have always had a bad memory, and tend to hold onto that each time I forget words or why I'm looking in the fridge, but the words I forget seem to be evermore more commonplace and it happens more frequently. Vanessa x

Michael House said...

Evermore, not evermore more...

There we are you see, scatty.

And I was celebrating the fact that you can hide scattiness on the computer, by checking and checking. But, the truth will out.

Dana Jones said...

I have a solution to your suds. Mix a little bleach with water and pour into your rinse cup. It will cut the soap suds. just a tiny bit should help.

uhm? not that I have ever done anything like that myself...

Simone said...

You are so funny! I also heard that you lose any hair where you had it and gain it where you don't want it! I've been having a few funnies recently such as leaving a plate and cutlery outside by the bin, putting things in the fridge that don't belong in the fridge and being generally forgetful. Now what was I supposed to be doing.......!!!

Rosie said...

The menopause is not something I wouldn't have written about but a few weeks ago when I wrote about it to be honest I couldn't have cared what anyone thought. I think I had had a humour by pass at the time.
Anyway thanks for cheering me up with your funny blog. Also thanks for giving me something to look forward to- no more hairy legs.

Katherines Dream said...

Lol ing!!! sorry Michele can't help it...the hair thing really made me giggle!
I am trying ever so well I might add to stay calm under mounting pressure...Mr N and I argue mostly about where we have put things! we must always tell eachother he says just in case one of us remembers!!!
Carol xx

LOUISE said...

I have the makings of a moustache, but luckily a blonde one! I vow not to become paranoid about the fact like my Mum was. Most times I visited I would catch her sitting in the window with her magnifying mirror and tweezers. If it wasn't her moustache it was her chin! I can honestly say Michele I have been out of sorts lately, so don't worry, we all have these scatty moments, you are not alone! x

A Saucerful Of Secrets said...

Oh Michele,the last quote has made me laugh so much the tears are running down my face,I like to think of all these occurances as just eccentrisities, sounds a bit better than the M. word.Best Wishes from Annie x

A Saucerful Of Secrets said...

Oh Michele,the last quote has made me laugh so much the tears are running down my face,I like to think of all these occurances as just eccentrisities, sounds a bit better than the M. word.Best Wishes from Annie x

Pretty Practicals said...

Hi Michele, welcome to my world! Lately my most commonly said phrase has been 'Is it just me or is it hot in here?'. And all my (much younger) friends reassure me that it just my age, oh joy indeed!
Hope all is well (other than the ditzy moments), chat soon, Liz

Elizabeth said...

Having just turned 48 I'm awaiting the dreaded 'M' word any day now!! I'm also getting very emotional and can cry at the drop of a hat. As for leaving the keys in the front door - I've been doing that particular trick for the past 10 years. Love the last quote - as I've already had to have my moustache zapped by electrolysis in order to look vaguely feminine again. I can highly recommend it, it works a treat, although is a tad painful.!

Chelle said...

I know I shouldn't have, but I did find a few of your moments a bit commical. Perhaps because I have had moments like those and am not near menopause. Hormones do do a number on women though. The upside is you probably made a few people laugh (like Dennis and your son's tutor). I just hope you find the comedy in the situation rather than beating yourself down. We're women, and we are entitled to our special moments.

Treat yourself to a delicious drink and sip is slowly while you sit in your lovely flower garden. That should help ease the angst. :)

Much love and hugs!

Alchamillamolly said...

Well - another thing we have in common - not just memories of Startrite shoes! My daughter bought me the Wrinkles book for my 50th birthday. I have my 52nd next week and Alan has his 62nd on Monday so you are amongst OLD friends. I know you arent as old as me but I am living the same life at the moment. I keep thinking what should I be doing with my life but at the moment I need the full time salary to get the house done. So I am feeling a bit adrift. On the memory front - I was sat in tears at the PC last weekend for almost 3 hours because I could not for the life of me remember any Yahoo or Freecycle details nor where I had put them for one when I forgot them GRRRRRRRR. The only person to be mad at was me. This morning I couldnt finish two sentences 'cos I forgot the word ! it turned out to be wall light! Hang in there and keep blogging - I love your blog

Sweet Cottage Dreams said...

heheheheheteeeheeteeehheee..snicker....snicker....giggle..LAUGHING hyesterically....ahhhh...gawsh.....!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Michelle, first off let me tell you you are not alone. We had an estate sale before my trip and I had put all of the money in a ziploc baggie and hid it. I hid it so well (and twice) that both times I went into a RAGE when I could not find it. I was convinced that a spy had found it or some 3 foot tall midget snuck in when I was not looking. This is only ONE instance, too. Countless others, such as yours, especially with the small objects. I finally got bi-focals so I would not be taking my glasses off and on and having to replace them at 400.00 each.

Just hang in there and keep a fan close by, like I do, for when you get the incredible and torential hot flashes that seem to only leave you with a wet bra and damp hair. Oh, and then there is the occasional dribble of sweat that seems to trail from the middle of the back to the small...ew!

love you!!
Becky

Garden girl said...

Sorry Michele, but I laughed too-but hopefully you will feel better in knowing that a)You have made us all smile (with you, not at you!) and b)I too regularly leave my mobile and keys in very odd places -last time it was my dressing gown pocket..I rang my mobile from the house phone and was running around the house, desperately trying to find where the ringing was coming from before it went through to answerphone-4 times in total. Hmmm.I also start conversations and then forget what I was going to say ten seconds in. Not good.I say make the most of it,take advantage of having some eccentricities!Life would be dull without them.Plus I am all for not having to arse about shaving legs-a bonus, surely!!x

carolyn said...

Goodness I've been like this for so long now that everyone, including myself thinks it's quite normal! Was I ever normal? I doubt it, but of course I really can't remember....

Deb said...

OY! I can so relate! The menopause is upon me as well and your days sound much akin to mine. This too shall pass??

I enjoyed this post so much. Very funny read. Have a great day!

Alchamillamolly said...

Thanks for your comment - I am thinking of taking a break as well. I will still read but wont post - I hardly get any comments these days - I think my blog is full of disasters and moans but that is my life at the moment. I have some old and tatty childrens books from a jumble and I wondered it they might be something you could use - there are some lovely illustrations. I can't throw them out! I will send them if you wish - email me and I will sort it. If I dont hear then never mind

Rosie said...

Sorry duck I was helpless with laughter, it must have been relief kowing that I am not the only one who does ridiculous things. it has been known to store screwdrivers in the fridge... and as for forgetting words and ends of ... oh flip whats that word, you know whatjamacallit.. sentences thats it!
Rosie x

Mary said...

I have laughed at this but you really do come out the other end!!! I spent half a day once searching for car keys and purse after I had been shopping only to find them in the freezer !!!!!

MaryPoppins said...

What a lovely place to spend my time X

JuicyFig said...

don't worry about it! I have been like that all my life, I get PMT for 3 weeks a month, and have had senior moments my entire life!
at least through the tears etc, you can laugh about it

Kath
x

Nostalgia at the Stone House said...

Take care Michele - hope you feel like your 'old' (young) self again soon.
Niki x

Linen & Roses said...

I hope you don't mind me admitting but that did make me laugh. I have also been having some psychotic hormonal moments of late that almost sent Simon demented and left me thinking I was pregnant! But a test and a long chat to the doctor later conclude that I have been totally over doing it of late. The answer, get a job nearer to home to lose the two hour commute - and I have! And stop stressing about having my own business at the same time as working full time - which I'm going to do. Anyway, you'll get through this time. Love that final comment about the hair - hysterical. Unfortunately, at 36 I already worry about both the leg hairs and the moustache!

Pat said...

Oh my --this made me laugh!I've "been there, done that" witht the big "M"

Please know that the hormones will ecventually get themselves straightened out and life will get back on course again.

I am 55 and enjoying it! And yes, I don't have to shave my legs anymore ..lol!

Diane said...

OH Yes I know exactly what you are talking about!!!!
Diane

This Vintage Life... said...

Hi Michele,
I am enjoying myself enormously going back through your posts...How have I not known about you before?!
This one struck a particular chord with me...I do things like that all the time and I am (hopefully!) a few years away from the dreaded 'M' word. So I don't know whats worse...blaming it on the menopause or like me, coming to terms wih the thought that you're a bit well...dippy! Not much of a choice is it! I guess if it is the former, at least it's a temporary episode and will pass, whereas I'm stuck with it!
Your post about renovating your home (lovely btw) resonated strongly with me too...been there, done that, wouldn't want to again. You're so right about blogging making you aware of other peoples way of doing things...I'm always looking at those cool, white interiors and thinking should I? But I like what I like. At the end of the day, you have to live in it and be happy and I love to look around my home and see all the old things I have taken years to accrue....they are comforting to me..perfection is overrated and probably not achievable! I'm going on a bit now so will leave you in peace.
Deb x

This Vintage Life... said...

Oh, and I love that quote too- fair made me giggle!